A few months back we came across a beautiful and heartfelt post written by Bianca (below) and we reached out to her as a sign of unity, love and support. Bianca and Amy's love story is unique, beautiful and special. When we asked them to share their words and world with us and with you they said “yes”. They spoke of their ‘old fashioned’ courtship, perfect wedding day, what a “YES” result in the same sex marriage survey would mean to both of them and the significance of their Palas charms, which remind them every day of what they are trying to achieve.
vegetarian | dog mum | Melbournian | and wife to Amy
(Married October 30, 2015)
365 days ago under a cloudless sky, surrounded by our beautiful friends and family we did "the thing". For us, we grew tired of waiting for our government to decide when we could get married, so we went ahead and did it anyway. I won't lie, I had many reservations about how vendors would react to us, but little did I know we would be blessed with the most incredible team of people who turned our vision into a reality (and so much more!). It was hands down the best day (and party!!) of my life. To my beautiful wife, I'll save most of the heartfelt words for you and you only, but happy first anniversary. You are my most favourite human. I love being your sous chef and I love the life we lead. You're fierce, you're brave, you're inspiring but most of all, you're passionate about all the things that matter and I can't wait to see where the future takes us. Now, can we go and eat some breakfast? #amyandbanc
Amy (left) and Bianca (right)
I actually cannot articulate how upset and frustrated I am with our government this evening. I pretend I don't care, because it spares me some heartache, but I really do care so deeply, and enough is enough. I hope one day love will indeed win. @ljm_photo #loveislove #marriageequality #orlackthereof #wife #twobrides #equality
We asked them how they met… this is their love story >
This is a love that began several years ago in an old-fashioned way, when Amy and Banc (Bianca) found themselves at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Banc didn’t know anyone there, so Amy had been asked in advance to keep her company. Amy maintains she hasn’t found better company since. Amy remembers that the piece of toilet paper stuck to Banc’s shoe that night only added to her adorable left-of-centre charm. The fact it didn’t bother her in the least also confirmed Amy’s self-appointed, unwaveringly cool status. That same night, they shared their first kiss in the tradition of so many other famous first kisses – fumbling, awkward and inebriated. Thankfully, their kisses got a lot better and slightly classier from there!
Thinking back to what it was – aside from the toilet paper, that is – that attracted them to each other that night, Amy remembers that it was Banc’s captivating, storm-in- a-teacup eyes that first caught her attention. As they chatted that evening, Amy realised that those eyes were complemented by an infectious, bubbly giggle and a warm, genuine presence that she felt herself drawn to. It was immediately clear to Amy that there was more to Banc than met the eye.
She was fascinated from day one and loves knowing that in Banc, she has someone who will fascinate and inspire her for the rest of her life.
When we asked Amy to describe Banc to a stranger, she painted a pretty clear picture.
"See her over there, the tall pretty one with the fierce eyes and legs for days – you won’t find a heart bigger than hers. She wears it on her sleeve. It is part of what makes her so beautiful. She’s shy, but it’s only because she genuinely cares about people. She nervous sometimes, the way you get before a big presentation or meeting, because to her, you matter.
But once she’s comfortable, brace yourself! She is neither quiet nor shy. My wife is a switched on fire cracker who doesn’t miss much, remembers EVERYTHING, and will make a fool of herself not for your entertainment but first and foremost for her own enjoyment.
You will NEVER make a more loyal friend. Be kind to this delicate flower, her outsides are lovely, but her insides are soft. She’s pretty magnificent."
Say yes >
Bianca and Amy fought for a long time about who would propose. It was an ongoing ‘discussion’, but secretly, Amy had a ring almost the whole time. According to Banc, she hates surprises and Amy just LOVES to surprise her.
After a string of impressive miss-truths, a secret dinner with Amy and Banc’s best friend, accidently committing contract fraud and then having to steal the ring from its hiding place at Amy’s parents so nobody knew it was coming, the proposal was set.
The start of forever >
A surprise garden party was planned for Banc’s 25th birthday with their dearest friends in attendance. Sack races, pin the tail on the alpaca, and a very special scavenger hunt that led Banc to Amy, in the rain, down on one knee, offering Banc the key to her heart and an invitation to spend the rest of their lives together.
“She cried,” Amy recalls of the proposal. “She swore at me. She cried some more. She said yes!”
The following day, under cover of a post birthday shopping trip, Amy and Banc ventured into the city. Banc took a cheeky detour into the Michael Hill store on Elizabeth Street, stopped, looked at Amy and said ”pick one!” So she did! Banc then asked to see the ring Amy had chosen, got down on one knee in the store, and asked if Amy would “marry her back”. Amy said yes and the sales ladies cried and cheered. Although it is worth noting that Amy, never wanting to let the chance to tell a good story pass, asked if she could say that Banc ran out into the busy city street, stopped a tram and got down on one knee but Banc said it wasn’t believable. No tram or busy city street, but both beauties had a rock, a yes, each other, and now here they are.
Palas: How have you been supported by your loved ones throughout your journey?
Bianca & Amy: Our families love us and recognise us as a legitimate married couple, regardless of the legal status of our relationship. We know we have them on our side. But it has been the support, conversations, check-ins and purposeful outstretched arms full of comfort and love and understanding that have found us from within our extended community that has warmed the internals most of all.
P: In the midst of the current same sex marriage debate in Australia, what are your thoughts and feelings surrounding the public vote?
B & A: We all know this had been hard, but unless it directly affects you, and even when it does, it’s very easy to downplay the significance of this public opinion poll. The government has welcomed Australia into our home, and into our relationship, and given them permission to have a voice on what they think about it.
Some of these external voices are loud, harsh, hurtful, uninformed and horrible. Although you cannot avoid hearing some of the poison, we are so blessed to have a village of people with tones, words and intentions which act as a more than adequate antidote to the unwelcome venom.
This steady conversation about who we love and how has been aggressively hurled out of car windows and spat at us while walking down the street. It has confronted us at our front gate in front of our lovely home in ways not worth exploring, but the strong stream of support has come from close and far, known and unknown and I am so proud to say has far outweighed the negative. Palas is just one example of a far away, and at the time, unknown source who jumped in and passionately and loving stood alongside us as we raised our hand and asked to be counted as equal. They held it up in a generous act of kindness so show their solidarity. They were one of many surprising supporters who didn’t have to, but chose to stand with us. Thank you.
P: How will you both be celebrating the YES outcome we're all waiting for?
B & A: Our wedding day was the best day of our lives, hands down, bar none, thus far. Fun, delicious, beautiful and full of more love than can be captured, captioned or replicated, but heck, why not try? There will be gold sequins, fairy lights, florals and feasting with a small group of special folk while we sign on the dotted line. The immediate celebration will probably consist of a few deep breaths, some cuddles, and a whole lot of relief that we now stand on the right side of history and this is no longer just a ‘thing’.
P: Any thoughts you want to share about your Palas charms and their meaning to both of you?
B & A: Amy wears a Palas charm on a necklace that never comes off. The charm has an ‘A’ on it. This reminds Amy that, in a time when the clouds were thick and the social waters were murky, she was seen. It cannot be stated in words how special and meaningful that is. The other charms went to both Banc’s and Amy’s mums. This is a symbol of the interconnectedness that is imperative to maintain quality support. We need each other, and how special is it to acknowledge that and be reminded of it every single day?